Wedding Planning: A Backseat Fiancé Guide To Being Helpful

Planning a wedding in Milwaukee or anywhere else can create a lot of stress and pressure.  Couples try their best to navigate each decision that has to be made, but without the help of someone who has lots of experience, trying to make any decision often results in even more questions.  For that reason, approaching the journey as a team is crucial.  This article is meant for the person in your relationship who is less sure, less assertive, or less willing when it comes to planning this all-important celebration.  As an underachieving fiancé myself at one point, I shudder to admit that I see this unfortunate dynamic playing out a lot when I speak to recently engaged couples.  Now is the time to chip away at that!

If you are a newlywed-to-be most likely to take a backseat, this guide should help you navigate a process that has the potential to be an enjoyable team project for you and your fiancé.  If you are the one reading this first, make it required reading for your other half so you don’t end up under a pile of never-ending decisions to be made… while also building resentment towards the person you are supposed to be spending the rest of your life with.  

…Here we go!

A Backseat Fiancé’s Guide to Being Helpful:

1. Hire a Wedding Planner.

This will take away a lot of headaches (and may even render the rest of this list obsolete if you hire a great one).  If you can afford it, hire someone from the start.  If that isn’t in the cards, consider a “day of” planner.  Take some initiative and hire someone to help you navigate throwing the biggest party you’ve ever hosted.

2. Remain Hands On, Unless Directed Otherwise.

“Whatever you want” is not a helpful or supportive approach in most cases.  While at face value it may appear deferential and empowering… it’s probably not.

3. Create a List of Preferred Vendors.

Do some research in your local area for venues, photographers, videographers, florists, bakers etc and make a short list of the vendors you are drawn to.  Bring this list to your fiancé to generate some good wedding planning karma.

4. Ask Your Wedding Party (Groomsmen, Bridesmaids Best Man, Best Woman, Groomswomen, etc) for Help.

Many wedding parties are made up of the people the couple can count on.  Leverage those relationships by delegating tasks easily handled by someone else.

5.  Learn How to Ask “What Do You Need From Me?”

…and ask it often.  But only if you’re ready for an answer that requires action and you’ve taken initiative with some of the steps above.

Planning a wedding can be a serious test for any couple.  Don’t be a bum; do your part to help pass it!

-Patrick @ Betcher Photo

Want to discuss your wedding?  Connect with me here.