Wedding Planning: A Groom’s Short Guide To Being Helpful

Planning a wedding in Milwaukee or anywhere else can create a lot of stress and pressure.  Couples try their best to navigate each decision that has to be made, but without the help of someone who has lots of experience, trying to make any decision often results in even more questions.  For couples consisting of a Bride and Groom, there are also unfortunate gender norms which tend to place more pressure on the Bride while the Groom spends more time “off the hook”.

…Well, not anymore!  If you are a Groom to be, this guide should help you navigate a process that has the potential to be an enjoyable team project for you and your fiancé.  If you are the fiancé to a groom, make this required reading for your other half so you don’t end up under a pile of never-ending decisions to be made… while also building resentment towards the person you are supposed to be spending the rest of your life with.  

It is often the groom who pops the question (another curious norm worth diving into at a later date); but why should the responsibilities end there?!?

A Groom’s Guide to Being Helpful:

1. Hire a Wedding Planner.

This will take away a lot of headaches (and may even render the rest of this list obsolete if you hire a great one).  If you can afford it, hire someone from the start.  If that isn’t in the cards, consider a “day of” planner.  Take some initiative and hire someone to help you navigate throwing the biggest party you’ve ever hosted.

2. Remain Hands On, Unless Directed Otherwise.

“Whatever you want” is not a helpful or supportive approach in most cases.  While at face value it may appear deferential and empowering… it’s not.

3. Create a List of Preferred Vendors.

Do some research in your local area for venues, photographers, videographers, florists, bakers etc and make a short list of the vendors you are drawn to.  Bring this list to your fiancé to generate some good wedding planning karma.

4. Ask Your Wedding Party (Groomsmen, Best Man, Best Woman, Groomswomen, etc) for Help.

Many wedding parties are made up of the people the couple can count on.  Leverage those relationships by delegating tasks easily handled by someone else.

5.  Learn How to Ask “What Do You Need From Me?”

…and ask it often.  But only if you’re ready for an answer that requires action and you’ve taken initiative with some of the steps above.

Planning a wedding can be a serious test for any couple.  Don’t be a bum; do your part to help pass it!

-Patrick @ Betcher Photo